Auld Friends
by QueenofQuill
Summary: Scotland's interuption of a world conference leads to England airing some of France's dirty laundry.


The World conference was meant to solve the world's problems but time and time again it just seemed to create new ones. Sometimes England wondered why they bothered. Then again he thought, it was marginally better than being held in a national conference with his brothers and their bosses.

Scotland was hard enough to deal with as it was but at least his boss was usually reasonable but this one, he had been in the first minister's position for a while now and Scotland was drifting further and further away. Although England had to admit that despite all its faults this Scottish Goverment certainly knew how to handle it's money even if it gave Scots things for free that the English had to pay for. They were the United Kingdom weren't they? Were they not meant to share everything?

Scotland rarely ever thought so, neither did Ireland. Wales was ok but he still scorned his younger brother for the decisions he made.

Yes, despite the hell of sitting in a room trying to be heard over all these warring countries it was better than being ganged up on by a group of brainless, brutish celts.

Just as England was starting to get his point across the door burst open and in walked his greatest nightmare.

Every country stopped shouting and turned around to face the door. There stood a tall slim figure with a messy mop of firey hair. He leaned in the door frame, wicked green eyes twinkling and wearing a smile that didn't portray anything pleasant. If England had any less strength he might have shivered at the look his brother sent his way. It told him that this was not going to be a good day.

Scotland hardly ever dressed in a kilt these days but it looked like he desided to wear one today just so there could be no doubt as to who he was. Not that anyone could forget him even after meeting him even once, but ... that wasn't really a good trait.

"Hi tae yeez all," he said in that smug tone that just drove England crazy.

"_Mon Amour_," greeted France with a large smile on his face. "It 'as really been too long."

Scotland ambled over to a spare chair across from England and his smile became a little more genuiene. "That it has mate."

England leaned across the table and hissed at his brother, "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"What, a guy can't just pop in to see his favourite brother?"

"He can but I hardly think that's me."

Scotland gasped dramatically as if in shock, "Good God no. I was just on my way to see Ireland and this was on my way."

England sighed and slumped back into his seat. All he ever got from this confounded country was trouble; even France was better company than him. He frankly wondered why his previous bosses from centuries ago had covetted that place so much. Sure it was a beautiful land with an abundance of untapped natural resources but the trouble with Scotland was that it was full of Scots and as far as England was concerned that ruined the place.

The younger nation put his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose, "Perhaps decorum and common decency are concepts that are lost on you but you are interupting a conference."

"Oh don't mind me, yous lot carry on. Besides I am wagering that you haven't got much done this session ... or the last, or the one before that."

All the countries' eyes were on Scotland and his brazen cheek but then again a lot of them expected nothing less they second they set eyes on him. America stood up to greet Scotland who was sitting with his chair quite far back from the table with one leg propped across the opposite knee. When America got to him with his hand out to shake the red-head's own Scotland swivvled in his chair to face him.

The goofy grin on the young country's face vanished and he held out his hand reflexivly in front of him as he covered his eyes with the other arm. He cried out, "Dude, if you're not gonna put on underpants would you at least close your legs."

Scotland wasn't fazed. He was like a monkey England thought, just desperate to show it off.

"You don't like it don't look," he replied in an uninterested tone.

China jumped up, "I hear of you and your filthy behaviour but man must not wear skirt in respectable place."

Scotland's eyes shifted a little, he always took exception to his national attire being called a skirt. "Right China, this is a kilt," he got a grin on his face and pointed to China's attire. "And that's a dress."

"It is a panlingpao," China shouted outraged.

"Alright enough," declared England in an angry, frustrated voice. "Scotland you have no business being here. Now if you have anything worthwhile to discuss I'll be happy to listen but for now why don't you just find Ireland, go to a pub and don't stop drinking until you pass out."

All Scotland did was smirk and that made the younger nation even more enraged, "Aren't you even going to enquire as the well being of our dear brother?"

"Why should I? He normally takes your side when it comes to matters of state or matters of ... well, anything. Plus both of of you are drunken brawlers and I have no desire to know what sordid activities to two of you get up to during your leisure time."

France flicked his golden hair back and grinned, "I for one am 'appy he is 'ere. It vould be nice to 'ave a fresh United Kingdom persective for once seeing as you never seem to bring anything zee table."

England turned on his long time rival, "You would think that wouldn't you. I remember in Henry V's time and many times before and after when you went running and crying to him for help when my troupes were fighting you."

France was about to reply to that but Scotland who was still slouched in his chair in a fashion he managed to make look regal said, "Hey, nothin' like a common enemy tae bring people the gither."

Not all of the countries were but most of them were aware of the 'Auld Alliance'. It was the oldest and closest Alliance in history. A lot of people thought that title belonged to anglo-portugal relations but they were wrong.

Scotland and France's treaty wasn't an agreement of mutual dependance like most alliances were, it was a personal relationship. While it was true that the alliance was formed in the late 13 centurty to aid each other against England who was their common enemy at the time, that wasn't what begun this close friendship. History shows that Scottish warriors were assisting in French territory as far back as 882 BC; so while a common enemy did cement their relationship, it by no means started it.

Sure things had happened over the years that drew them apart such as Scotland's shift to Protestantism. Some people think that was where the alliance was disposed of but there is no evidence of that.

Also the United Kingdom's act of Union didn't help their relationship but there is still nothing in history to say that they abandoned their alliance so the truth was it was still valid today.

England slammed his hands on the desk. He was sick and tired of his brother's attitude and while he could deal with France, having Scotland here to cover his cowardly ass just gave him more amuintion so he turned to his rival and said, "You didn't seem to think much of him when you allied yourself with the soviet union in the thirties."

Scotland's face took on a betrayed look, "What!"

France turned to his long term ally, "zat was over years ago."

"And what about your treaty with NATO? Is that over too?" Once England saw that he had hit his mark he sat down.

Scotland covered his face and stood up. "God, oh my God it's all clear now," he spun round to face France and spoke through gritted teeth. "You've been seeing other countries."

France folded his arms in a defensive motion, "Of course I 'ave. I told you a dozen times my economy was in trouble and you never did anything about it."

Scotland poked himself in the chest and gritted out, "I. Was. Busy."

"And I 'ave needs _Ecosse_."

Scotland sat down in his chair facing away from France. "I turn my back for a moment and you go off to see someone else. You couldn't wait."

France looked incredibly guilty, "Come on _mon amour,_" he soothed. "They were all short lived," when Scotland said nothing he continued. "They didn't mean anything."

Scotland faced France with an indignant look, "They didn't mean anything?" he asked in a scoffing tone. Then his brow furrowed, "What were they like?"

France looked at his friend with wide eyes, "Pardon _moi._"

"Where they any good? Their armies?"

France shrugged, "They were alright."

"Were they better than me?"

France debated the best answer to give, "Differenet."

"Was it their tactis? Or their size?"

"Well, they were a lot more careful."

Scotland's brows furrowed again, "We are still talking alliances aren't we?"

France looked indignant, "Of course we are."

"Oh, how could you?" Scotland stood up. "After 700 hundred years how could you?"

"_Mon Amour _where are you going?"

Scotland held up his hand, "I just need to not look at you at the moment."

And with that he marched out the doors slamming them shut with a strength that belied his stature. England rubbed the bridge of his nose again, he hated it when those two got like this. That is why he was so glad he was rarely in the same room with both of them. They came up with this whole silly 'marriage' act just to annoy him but both of them were two of the biggest drama queens he had ever met and sometimes they ended up taking it to heart. Like today.

Scotland would get over it. He knew what France was like and he knew France wouldn't change. Plus he knew someone as elegant and refined as France wouldn't have put up with him for so long if he didn't care about him. They were an odd pair and neither of them would ever change but England knew there would always be the alliance. As much as everyone wanted to you couldn't erase history.

So France couldn't forget the number of times Scotland's brutish fighters had protected him and Scotland couldn't forget how the blond nation was also there for him in his times of need, such as their protection of Mary Queen of Scots.

And the biggest thing Scotland would never forget (and neither would England) was his taste for French wine and their agreement to send discounted French finery to Scotland while England got sub-par products. (1)

_(1) This is true (so are all the other auld alliance facts) check it on google._

_I hope you all enjoyed this. I love Scotand/France but for all intents and purposes this is purely friendship but glean from it what you will._


End file.
